Dragonfly Enchantment

When I Grow Up I Want to be . . . a Tribal Fusion Belly Dancer

2009-09-15T08:55:00.006-05:00

I've been belly dancing since after I gave birth. I tried other forms exercise to get back in shape. I got bored and I was still in pain from the pregnancy and birth and a bike run in shortly after. I discovered the belly dancing twins, Veena & Neena and fell in love. I thought, 'I can do that!' I luv to wiggle and I didn't have to jump up & down hurting my joints like aerobics so it was perfect for me! It felt good, I felt like a woman, feminine and powerful! Not only did it feel good to my soul but my body. The hip and back pain I had (so bad I couldn't sleep at times) went away! When it did occasionally come back I just belly danced the pain away!

Now i'm in the habit of constantly doing the hip rotations and tilts constantly without thought, so now I never hurt. I do it in my computer chair, on the couch, in bed, doing dishes and when I crank up the radio! It is now the only dance I know. For years I loved to use my hips when dancing pop/hip hop and now I realize that it was in the vain of belly dance. We all do it, all woman! I now see that it is a natural movement for woman to make, instinctive, powerful, healthy. Some say the Egyptians would use it to aid in child birth, a dance, a movement good for woman. I don't know if the Egyptians did do this but it is great for me.

When I was zapped a link of Rachel Brice dancing Tribal Fusion style I wanted to be a belly dancer! I've always wanted to do it but m a n. When I saw her on youtube I was amazed, inspired, moved. Because of her and other artists of the dance like Zoe Jakes, I can't suppress the desire to be a Tribal Fusion Belly Dancer when I grow up (again:D ) !!! Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm to old, too fat! But not for belly dance it seems. Look it up! Many woman are large, and over thirty! I may never be a professional but I can have fun trying!!

Listen to this interview with Rachel Brice and you will see what this dance does to a woman, why I would want to do it. One of many reasons.

Look at this woman's confidence and love for herself and her body!

Here are more empowered 'more to luv' women like me!

if you want to see some of the best dances on youtube just check out my play list on youtube!

What has made you fall in love with your femininity, your womanhood??

BTW: I will be adding belly dance work out vids to my weekly routine in addition to what I already do. So go to my Moving Enchantment blog to find out more, to join in!

Creation Station

2009-09-05T22:46:00.003-05:00

I have my art table supported by storage bins that have been bending under the weight of my beautiful supplies and their containers. Like my grandmother's juice glasses, jelly jars, old jars from my mother and a flower pot that has been in the family for a few generations. And of course there are the dollar store, thrift store and wal-mart finds.

So Thursday I dragged all the bins out of the harry potter closet and put two deep of bins under the table top my mother gave me from a woman she took care of years ago who past away. It's the perfect size for our small space! I put the leaf on top against the mirror and all my supplies sit on that. I dusted, edited, & rearranged my creative station ending in results I luv. Though I miss having my glasses of brushes, pencils, etc. spread out more.

ps: sorry the pics are SO bad! please forgive me!

Inspire Me Thursday . . . Pear

2009-08-30T19:44:00.007-05:00

I can't stop drawing, doodling, creating something! Usually I struggle to create now I struggle to stop. Going to enjoying it while it lasts!

I went to Inspire Me Thursday and was inspired to make this doodle. I love pears and the piece they had up for an example got me going. I started that night and couldn't stop. I was up past 3am and started again when I got up early afternoon.

Illustration Friday... MAGNIFY

2009-08-29T20:16:00.004-05:00

I've been wanting to paint SO bad for the last few days. It was an itch, a craving. But no, I did not paint. I did everything else! Ink, gel, paper, color pencil, charcoal (my fav!), & marker. I just needed to create something. Get my hands dirty sitting with a chaos of paper, paints, scissors, pens, pencils, art mess stuff. I feel much better now!

Here is my submission for Illustration Friday... MAGNIFY

Broken but Healed by Art & Creativity

2009-08-28T13:19:00.008-05:00

With all the losses and other things I've been through the last four years I see the therapeutic benefits and necessity of art, of creating something, anything to let it out. A poem, painting, scribbles, anything. Right after the loss of my brother I literally couldn't think. I couldn't read, I couldn't even watch TV because I couldn't fallow what was going on, it was gibberish. But I could knit. Some may not see this as art but it is creative, it is zen. I find myself looking for my paints or typing away when hit with more stress or pain than I can bear. I feel the need to express it in some way. Cry yes, I needed to cry but I needed other outlets.

Right now I want to paint, I want to write, I want to play with my web designs, make graphics and I will and am and have. Those who are already artist's or creative types know what I'm talking about. You do it too. But those who may not be right brained like us, I encourage you to try it. Find ways to express your pain. It is so healing. There is a reason why the loony bins have arts & crafts, music therapy and tell you to keep a journal. So lets do all that before we need to be locked up! Ok, the last part largely applies to me but it makes sense to do what works for even the worst cases, art and therapy!

What are the ways you deal with great losses or everyday stress? What do you do when you feel broken like I do now?

books i'm luvin' right now

2009-08-25T18:36:00.006-05:00

Yesterday i was THRILLED when the UPS guy showed up with my free book! YAY! You know how i LUV books and what is better than free?? I got to have it free just for blogging about what i think about the book, good or bad :D but i was relieved when last night i found that I'm luvin' it. I was laughing so much! Laughter is good medicine and I'm needing that a lot right now. The beginning of this month was the one year anniversary of my brother's passing and I've been feeling depressed, crying again. That is why I try not to remember when people pass so this doesn't happen. But how could I not remember this one. I was there, i watched his body change after his body died sitting at his feet in ICU. I want him back, that's all i can say.

“The BackBerry Diaries...adventures in modern motherhood” by Kathy Buckworth has been a wonderful LOL book so far. Even the most boring parts of a book (for me) the preface and introduction was funny! It is perfect for my circumstances, needing laughter and short entries that enables my ADD mind to keep reading & stay in the book.

My second book I got from half-priced yesterday is amazing! “Gifts of the Soul.. experience the mystical in everyday life” by Constance Rodriguez, Ph.D. It looks like it will be a more serious in-depth book, no fluff. Now I've only read a little so far. There is a lot about Carl G. Jung in this, mythology, psychology, and spirituality. It reminds me of what Joseph Campbell talked about in his interviews on PBS when talking of retrieving lost pieces of your soul. Keep in mind I just started this book so I don't know what else it will reveal.

If I like the freebie, “The BlackBerry Diaries” I will most likely do a give away! So start following this blog and me on twitter and you will know when the contest is up!

Y'all have a great day!

PS: i have a new youtube channel to focus on weight loss and a new blog to go along with it!

Music from HeyKelsey

2009-08-24T01:22:00.004-05:00

this woman is an AMAZING artist, singer & song writer! her voice is earthy & true.. go to her channel and send her love, DON'T forget to tell her Dinah aka: Ms Dragonfly sent you!

i get to join in on a fun meme, MUSIC MONDAY where we share a something something, good music!

My Creative Journey

2009-08-19T01:57:00.020-05:00

here i've put together a list of my blogs focused on my arts and crafts. i have such a wide range of interests i thought it would be nice, easier to just put them all in one place so if you like, you can fallow along with me on my attempt to create. i may not be an 'Artist' but i am an artist as are all of you!

starting on Tuesday, January 15, 2008 to February 2009:

passions wain
i did it!
Paralyzed
I've Got My Mojo Back!
Inspire Me Thursday ~ Peace
Creation Frenzy
My Shop is Open!
Creative Cruse
Illistration Friday ~ Primitive Flower
Inspire Me Thursday ~ Scrap Yard
Midnight Creations ~ this is what i do when i can't sleep!
Read All About It!
New Girl!
Art is . . .
Soul Food
Great Loss
Sewing, Knitting, & Crochet
Autumn Pear
hiatus
I Think I'm Back
Divine Insperations
Juicy!
Netoholic, Reporting My Deviations

Need Help With Hooping Questions?

2009-08-18T17:37:00.009-05:00

Love, I Want That!

2009-08-16T07:55:00.004-05:00

Women

2009-07-19T12:51:00.003-05:00

PS: i made this video!

Deceit

2009-05-19T10:01:00.007-05:00

Sweet and quite she sits and waits
motives hidden behind her shy face
the perfect moments collect as her lies percolate
each deceitful seed hidden in one, unknown to the other

days upon days
weeks upon weeks
collected into months she waits steadily
patience her virtue
cunning her vice
her innocent face and quite voice hides
her plans to ostracize

back from my journey I find her hall closed to me
'why' I ask but her angelic voice is silent while her courtiers reliant
on her words of secrecy deceiving them of my banishment she planned for me

I shout out my innocence and point out her lies
but it's to late, this witch must hang till truth cries
friends now turned against this witch in pain

I plead, 'why can't you see she planned my fall long ago
now am I to be a witch alone?
Your friendships I can not forgo'

straddling my corpse
now that eyes are upon her
she is quick to apologize
false words fall from her
her courtiers satisfied
they believe her heavenly fantasy
accepting she caused me no harm though it be fallacy

heart broken, abandoned, to summerland I ride,
to the gods I cry 'let them see through her lies!'

Resin From The Dead

2009-05-07T11:27:00.004-05:00

i've been learning so much.. reading, reading, reading. I've finally gotten off the net and into my books! But i find that i have to read several all at once for me to keep moving forward with any of them. Hey, what ever works, right? I'll be up-dating my goodreads so you know what i'm reading. The new additions are 'discovering spirit in sound chanting' by robert gass (got to get more of his cd's!) and 'dreaming true' by robert moss. Woah, lot's of roberts, lol... the dream book is the best one i've ever read. This is the one we all need to read! Forget the rest with thier keys that tell you what things mean to other people, you have to learn what things symbolize for you!

I'm sorry i haven't been around much, although i've really tried to keep in touch with my tweets, pings, and ning. I've been super busy mommie. My son has so many activities my head just spins and he is worn out. We both can't wait till summer when all this frenzy will end and we can just relax and hear our own thoughts and breath.

I can't hoop y'all. My feet keep giving me trouble! So i will spend the summer in the pool as much as possible! Hopefully if i loose enough weight i can get on my feet and do other things like hooping and belly dance. I can't even belly dance! My feet start hurting and i have to site down! Help me guys, i need to see the doc about this but i don't want to go. I just hate going to the doc! Remind me if you think of me :D

hope all is well with you friends!

xoxo,
dinah

Hooping Break

2009-04-14T09:56:00.006-05:00

i haven't written in so long that i don't know what to write beyond my one obsession – hula hooping! I've gotten the flip-like cam i was waiting for! The LCD screen pops out so you can change it to face you no matter where you point the camera. I've been playing with it a lot, mostly with my son at home, school, ball games! Oh and my new dish washer! Lol yep, i'm that excited!

I am going to have to go to the doctor because i keep having trouble with pains in my feet and ankles. I dread it, i HATE going to the doctor! I am planning on buying two new pairs of good shoes. One for the house and one for outside. I go around bare foot too much i think and at my weight it's not good, at least that is my assumption. I'm so sorry i won't have hooping vids yet but i will see what else i can do.

Everyone, have a GREAT week! And 'shake it'!

xoxo,
dinah

I Won 1st Place!

2009-02-28T11:31:00.002-06:00

jessicadoyle.com
jessicadoyle.etsy.com

My Son Corrupted by Twain!

2009-02-24T20:39:00.007-06:00

we watched 'Mark Twain' a documentary after school. it told of his life and his careers, what made him a writer, they had quotes and excerpts from his letters, books, and articles. we laughed out load the whole night. i didn't realize how funny Mark Twain aka Samuel Clemens was. i new he was a great writer but i felt like i could relate to him and his style of humor. humor is my son's first love, how he copes and all he wants to take in. he doesn't care for anything unless it's funny!

as i put my son to bed tonight he repeatedly told me, 'i think i'm going to write! i can cuss when i write!'. 'yes', i told him,' you can cuss and say what ever you want in your journal. it is your world and you are god but. . .' 'but not out load!', he finished. he's very happy to get to cuss... lol

oh yes, Twain cussed! :)

The documentary is titled simply, 'Mark Twain' a film directed by Ken Burns. through PBS home video.

xoxo,
dinah

ps: another example of how corrupting art can be ;)

The Power & History of Woman

2009-02-20T15:58:00.005-06:00

part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4
part 5
part 6

i encourage all to watch this documentary. those of all faith and spiritual belief and non-belief will get a lot out of it. i strongly encourage woman to watch this to learn more about our history of which there is little.

this is my path, this is me.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-15T16:08:00.012-06:00

So sorry i am late! We have had a interesting weekend! ;) Just like my birthday i also celebrate Valentine's all month long! This is the month of love! So go out and buy up all the half price chocolate to get you through the hormonal months ahead! Lol ;)

Have a great week!

xoxo
dinah

Netoholic, Reporting My Deviations

2009-02-09T14:18:00.019-06:00

pic i took yesturday

I'm not in the mood to paint. I think that i am afraid of what crap i might come up with bursting the bubble from the beautiful girl i made the end of last month. I've made some backgrounds and painted Hecate on cardboard, gesso'd the cardboard from frozen pizza's but when i tried to paint another girl i couldn't even get the sketch right. So i'm going to let it go for now. No use in torturing myself. If i force it i will only get frustrated and make it harder to do it.

So i am sketching fairies instead. Something i am in the mood for. From the book, Dreamscapes by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law. She makes the most beautiful fairies and fantasy creatures! I did one sketch before my brother past-away and when i came back to it recently i was surprised that i thought it looked pretty good. Feeling confident about what i have already done makes it easy to go ahead and do more.

My resolve as an artist is so weak. I have to be gentle with myself. Let go of what i can't bring myself to do and just redirect my creativity and try something new, something different.

One of the other ways i have been expressing my creativity is through all the many social networking sites, blogs and net toys that i have started, well, mostly improving the one's i already have. I have 14 social networks, blogs and net toys besides the other 6 or more blogs i don't fool with anymore.

You can find and friend me at Vox, LiveJournal, FaceBook, MySpace, Xanga, Twitter, seesmic, last.fm, MyBlogLog, wakoopa, stumbleupon, Flikr, listography and goodreads. Woah, that's a LOT! Lol, I will be and have been posting regularly so you can keep up with me at any of these places, especially twitter, i so love it! When i first heard of it i thought it was ridiculous but now i find it so useful and fun! Oh and Every once in a while i post to deviantArt. I'm having so much fun organizing, beautifying, and connecting to people on all my sites! Ooo, i am so loving Vox. It is so easy to use and i like that i can keep up with my books, video's, movies, music, etc. It's easy to add your other sites, you just put in your url or user name and it adds your site links like the sites above and it puts the matching icon in front. Tre cool! I'm using it for my personal blog.

I have been so bad about reading. I've been playing on the computer ALL the time so i haven't done much else. I'm so naughty! So i have decided that i will commit to reading one chapter a day out of my top four books i am currently reading, Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose, The Love Spell, Why Does He Do That?, and Talking With Tweens. I keep track of my books at vox and good reads if you care to know what i think of them and what's on my night stand, bookshelves, and on top of my t.v. :D What are you reading?

Hope you all had a great weekend! Have a wonderful, fulfilling, peaceful, prosperous, fun week!

xoxo,
dinah

The Ultimate Creation

2009-02-04T11:29:00.007-06:00

I don’t remember much about the stay in the hospital right after having my son. It was a blur of drugs and exhaustion. Although I can clearly remember one day shortly after coming home for the first time with my baby walking over to his crib and just looking at him. Taking him in with my eyes amazed that I created him in my body. Ten toes, ten fingers, to legs, two arms, one head {thank goodness} the perfect little body.

I was in awe of what I had created. I felt humbled as if it was too great a thing for me to have done. I felt the sacredness of his new life, how precious and important it was that I had a life I had created but would mold and be responsible for him. I can’t express how holy that moment felt, this was god, this moment. I the creator of this little life and he the creation but the Divine was in both of us and in the process that brought him about. I felt unworthy of having grown him in my body, in my sacred womb. This too sacred and amazing, unbelievable event - life.

Remember that you are Divine, that every month your body goes through the process of preparing for the potential of life you and that experience is sacred. Each act of love making is sacred for the potential life it may bring. I need too, to remember how sacred and Divine I and my body is. We are not separate sinful creatures but rather Divine co-creating demigods, gods and goddesses connected always to the Divine and to each other!

Christ himself said, “know ye not that ye are gods!”

Juicy!

2009-01-29T11:14:00.005-06:00

Here is my ‘I Am” assignment for suzi blu’s life book/art journal exercise. I just went wild and played with texture and color. I ended covering it all up with different shades of red and pink following Milliande’s journal prompt. Then I scraped white paint across it all and made my beautiful girl. I just get lost in her eyes. After creating this I hate the last journal page I made I showed you and all the other ones I didn’t show. This is just beautiful to me. I may hate it later too but for now I’m happy with it.

This was in the background of the first pic in my last post. I took coffee grounds to create the texture. I love it so much as is that I can’t bear to add anything to it!

I brought this down stairs along with everything else. It hides behind my couch across from my dinning table now my ‘art studio’. there is a door I stick up there so I don’t have to look at this mess. I don’t like the mess of this cupboard but the mess on my table makes me smile!

I’m doing much better lately. I am so loving netflix. I can watch movies, tv shows, documentaries, etc… online anytime I want free. I LOVE it! I think going without my pc did help me be more creative. I made all this and more while it was down. I just get on the net and play with all these social networks ning things and twitter and on and on. But I am so glad I have these distractions when I need them so I don’t cry so much but I need to let go and create more, do more, live more off the web.

xoxo
dinah

Divine Insperations

2009-01-15T11:45:00.002-06:00

My Divine inspirations have helped push me over the edge from fear into the pool of creativity, my connection to Spirit and intuition. On the 10th I created my first journal page of the year in last years altered book - art journal while waiting for my new moleskin to arrive to journal along with suzi blu.

Here are some of the books that have been inspiring me. I bought the top three, the rest I got at the library. It is hard to find good art books anywhere! They are like gems hidden. You have to commit much time and effort if you want to acquire them that is unless you just do a search on amazon, that’s a lot easier!

In “Pretty Little Things” by Sally Jean Alexander she recommends putting different techniques on slips of paper and put them in a bowl and then pull from it until you don’t need the prompts anymore. It is a great way to push you forward when you don’t know where to begin! I upcycled scrap paper I crumbled and then soaked in tea and hung dry. Tearing each piece added to the effect and then I used my elaborate handwriting to write each prompt, charcoal, ink, magazine, text, water color, etc. . .

I appreciate everyone’s condolences. I’m was relieved that most did not try to give me a pep talk because I don’t need one. Just an ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ is all I need to hear. The thing about loss is that there is almost never the right thing to say. For me, less is more. I’ve been through this about 10 times or more. I know what to do. Even if I hadn’t I wouldn’t want to hear it anyways. That’s what therapists and mother’s are for. I just need to talk it out. It is such a huge part of who I am right now. It is apart of every motion of my life. I can’t express myself without my loss coming up. Thanks for listening, thanks for the kind words.

I Think I'm Back

2009-01-09T10:01:00.002-06:00

For weeks the desire has been growing and pulling me to create and yet I resist it. I don’t understand why I pull away from what makes me feel so good. I know that my art corner was a mess and I was afraid that if I started anything that I would destroy the rest of my bedroom. I didn’t know where to begin. This week after watching suzi blu on youtube I was pushed over the edge and decided that the mental block of trying to create in my messy tiny corner could easily be rectified.

So off I went, up and down the stairs for two days putting my ‘studio’ in the middle of the living room. We never use our dinning table so it’s perfect. It’s there in line with my desk where I spend most of my time on the computer! I took the center leaf and put it on top against the mirror behind my round table and put all my paint and brushes on it. Then I just pilled up things on the table brought down a little cupboard I have some other art supplies in and put the rest in storage tubs I’ll keep in my ‘harry potter’ closet under the stairs. It feels great! I don’t even mind the clutter of it because it is supposed to be that way, the landing strip of art and art is messy!

What a shift in my phsyce. Now if I can only get the courage to do something. I’ve drawn a little but I don’t feel right putting things in a journal I should have filled last year. I’ve bought a Moleskine Large Sketch Book to fallow suzi blu around with her free art journal class on youtube. I have tried to combine all my many journals like she talks about and it never seems to work. I have journals for everything, dreams, thoughts, wishes, art, but I tend to keep them apart. I would like to have everything in one place to chronicle my life and growth.

As you all know I am still in mourning over my brother. There have been two other deaths since him. Despite all this pain and loss I am ready to move forward with my life again. It’s like I held my breath and ceased to exist when he died. I didn’t want to live if he couldn’t. so I did nothing for myself, nothing that I loved. But now that has changed finally. I’m still crying, still mourning but I am ready to join the living and live again even though he can’t.

ps: suzi blu has lost her long time beloved cat, pooh. Something I’ve been through several times. It is hard to go through, I know it was for myself. Send her some lovin’. I’m so sorry for your loss suzi!

hiatus

2008-10-21T11:14:00.001-05:00

I am not doing very well right now. The lose of my brother and a breakdown of my inner sense of purpose has left me unable to craft. I’ve put it all away even the crochet that was helping me for a time. Now for some reason I don’t feel like doing any of it. I can’t tell you how hopeless and worthless I feel. For this reason I will not be posting here for a while. I will be posting on my xang a and CCOR accounts only right now.

I’ll be back, I just have no idea when.

Autumn Pear

2008-09-25T13:22:00.004-05:00

I did it, I made something! I’ve been so afraid to start but I decided I would sew something yesterday and I did. I had to force myself but I got through. The perfectionist in me is so afraid of messing up, of wasting material on ‘mess ups’ that I end up paralyzed. I’m proud that I got past that. Now I can’t wait to create more. But there is one problem. I broke the sewing machine. The needle fell out and I can’t get it back up as high as it should be. That is what you get for $20!! I’m hoping I can buy a machine next month!

I’ll be sewing bags, pot holders, stuffed stuff and what ever else I find in the books I get at the library and online. I am hoping to get good enough to sell on etsy. I hope you all will check me out over there when I’m ready. I hope to have goodies listed in February.

Oh, and I finished my first scarf I’ll have to show you later.

dinah

Sewing, Knitting, & Crochet

2008-09-18T10:56:00.006-05:00

I went from knitting to crochet to sewing. I just can’t seem to stay on one thing but dabble in everything. I suppose that is normal for the creative type. Is it? I’m sorry I haven’t been posting but I’ve been having a hard time wanting to do things after my lose. I am doing much better now though. Not reading yet but I’m creating! I’m almost finished with a scarf I’m crocheting.

Feeling inspired I pulled out my sewing machine to find that I didn’t have a plug or pedal. I forgot that they were missing when it was given to me. I was digging around going through all the fabric that no longer and some that never inspired me and bagged them up for my sister-in-law’s garage sale. At the very back of the armoire I found a tiny sewing machine smaller than a coffee machine. It only sews a straight stitch but it’s better than nothing! I had forgotten that I had bought it a few years ago never using it till now. I know, shame on me. I suppose it was too depressing after having such a good machine to down grade to a toy.

I have this obsession to sew now. I hope to make some really cute things for me and for my etsy shop! I hope to have some inventory by February. I plan on making things like pin cushions, scarves, bags, stuffed animals, etc, and what ever little sewing projects I can do. We shall see what I feel comfortable with, what I can really do well. So yes, I will be knitting and crocheting scarves and maybe other things too.

Cross your fingers that I win magiquilter’s fabric giveaway! Stop by her cute place and tell her I sent you! I need some inspiring beautiful fabric to get me started! If anyone had scraps they would like to get rid of let me know! I need them. I’ve been going to craigs list and freecycle trying to find some and have had no luck. I did find a few things at the thrift store but I need to get a clearer vision of the kind of things I want to make. I know I want to do small projects, small in size because I have little space. I couldn’t make a quilt or anything. But make-up bags, wallets, needle holders, tissue holders, pot holders. A lot of holders! Lol

Anyways, I’ve talked too long. Hope you all are doing well and wish me luck on everything!

Great Loss

2008-08-25T12:30:00.003-05:00

I was writing a book. Words flew and flowed, ideas, characters, and plots. But then my world came to an end and I suffered a GREAT loss. For a long time I felt like I would mourn forever. That I would never stop crying or hurting, it hurt worse than anything I’ve known. When I got the news that he was in a comma my world came to an end, I knew that he wasn’t going to make it and unfortunately I was right. A week later my brother was taken off life support and his body died along with the brain that had died a week before.

I can only talk to my family and my mother about this. Everyone else say the wrong things. I can’t stand to hear them talk about it, to try to console me. When someone dies everyone should shut the fk up! I need the sympathy and support but in as few of words as possible. Just hug me. Tell me you love me. Say, ‘I’m so sorry.’ then shut up. This sounds so awful but that is how I feel. Each word wounds if it’s the wrong one or from the wrong person. I am so fragile that your breath could collapse me.

Art. I would have thought this a great time to write my pain out or paint. I’ve thought of it but haven’t wanted to. I don’t want to be in life when he is gone. I haven’t been able to think for the last few weeks. Even the simplest things that I never get wrong I couldn’t do. I think all the time, my mind never shuts up but since the first call I would sit for long moments with nothing in my head, just silence. I couldn’t think if I wanted to.

I started reading. I do it slowly and not every day. The book is about a mother who loses her little girl and per her mother’s advice she takes up knitting and joins a knitting circle. The repetitious movements of knitting some how get her out of her sorrow and gives her a break from pain. This book, The Knitting Circle, has inspired me to knit again. It does help, the repetition is soothing like rocking back and forth. I can’t write, I can’t paint, not today but for now I will knit. That will be my art.

Soul Food

2008-07-13T18:33:00.003-05:00

I’m not much of an artist to tell the truth, as I’ve been told. But I don’t say this because I’m not good at painting but because it isn’t an abiding passion. It is a passion but one that flees from me while another comes in. But am I still an artist when one artful passion is temporarily replaced by another?

What is art? I think one way it can be described is creative ways we express ourselves outside of logical linear thinking. When I was young it was truly an art to apply my make up. I took time to consider tones and hues, how to make the contours I desired, how to make me more beautiful. It was art when I would make beautiful resumes for my job applications. The effort I put into its form style, font, balance, and spacing. Also the words, how I described myself, what I had done. When I described my years as a house wife with a baby I called myself a ‘domestic engineer’ and used big important words like negotiator, manager, accountant, etc. One woman thought I was employed (as if it were a real job outside of home) another waved it in her husbands face reminding him of all the things she really does. That was creative, thinking outside of my box.

Now what makes me an artist? A creative person? My current medium is the pen. Or more truly my keyboard! I am writing. May not sound impressive. I don’t seem to write very well here. But that isn’t the point. Weather I am a genius or suck doesn’t matter. The important thing is that I feed my soul. The soul’s food is art! This is art, writing. Mine may be bad art and that is ok. But unlike some people out there I am happy, content, Sometimes even blissful when I am doing and being art! I write because I love it, because it feeds my soul. NOT to please the ‘critics‘. NOT to receive the ‘critics’ approval. But only to feed my soul and that is ‘following your bliss’ my friends as Joseph Campbell was fond of saying!

What is your soul food? What feeds your soul, makes you happy, content, blissful? Do it and stop for NO ONE! No mater what they say. What do they know? We all know that ‘critics’ don’t know anything!
Now dig in!!

Art is . . .

2008-07-04T14:02:00.001-05:00

art
–noun
1. the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance.
2. the class of objects subject to aesthetic criteria; works of art collectively, as paintings, sculptures, or drawings: a museum of art; an art collection.
3. a field, genre, or category of art: Dance is an art.
4. the fine arts collectively, often excluding architecture: art and architecture.
5. any field using the skills or techniques of art: advertising art; industrial art.
6. (in printed matter) illustrative or decorative material: Is there any art with the copy for this story?
7. the principles or methods governing any craft or branch of learning: the art of baking; the art of selling.
8. the craft or trade using these principles or methods.
9. skill in conducting any human activity: a master at the art of conversation.
10. a branch of learning or university study, esp. one of the fine arts or the humanities, as music, philosophy, or literature.
11. arts,
a. (used with a singular verb) the humanities: a college of arts and sciences.
b. (used with a plural verb) liberal arts.
12. skilled workmanship, execution, or agency, as distinguished from nature.
13. trickery; cunning: glib and devious art.
14. studied action; artificiality in behavior.
15. an artifice or artful device: the innumerable arts and wiles of politics.
16. Archaic. science, learning, or scholarship.
[Origin: 1175–1225; ME < OF, acc. of ars < L ars (nom.), artem (acc.)]
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

Double Birthdays!!

2008-05-03T11:20:00.002-05:00

Ten years and one day ago I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. the next day was my birthday! Needless to say I got nothing for that birthday save my son. That was fine with me :) he was present enough. So all that means is that today is my birthday and yesterday was my son’s!

Please everyone wish my son a happy birthday, it’s been a rough one this year! Wednesday he started complaining of a soar throat that night at midnight he sat at the foot of my bed throwing up. all night he was up and down with fever and so on. When morning came his temperature climbed to 103.7 and I couldn’t get it down despite the Motrin and Tylenol and the cold bath, all of which usually works. So I rushed him to emergency. By the time they got to him his fever was almost gone. We got the best room in the e.r. and he was treated to a pop after given some medicine to keep him from getting sick. Well after his shot for the strep throat it was clear the medicine didn’t work. After 2pm we finally headed home.

The next day was going to be his birthday. He was so upset to find out that he wasn’t going to get to celebrate! But he came to terms and was thrilled to get many calls from family wishing him a happy birthday and getting to open his present from me, a kick bleep water gun!

So we have been spending our birthdays in isolation with plain bread, ice pops, and cartoons. It hasn’t been that bad though. I’ve really have enjoyed the quite time alone with my son. :)

Btw, he is doing really well. Since he came home he has kept everything down and has felt relatively ok. Nothing like the strep throat I had as a child of utter misery.

Hope you all will have a healthy, happy week!

Love,
dinah

New Girl!

2008-04-26T11:49:00.004-05:00

Good Day everyone! I just wanted to thank you all again for coming by and especially for your kind and supportive comments. You all have stirred up warms fuzzies inside my heart! I feel more hopeful, like I can do it. That I can be an artist that creates art that others would like enough to buy! That’s big for me, so THANK YOU!! Warm hugs for you all!

This is my new girl above, like her? I just don’t know what I was thinking but this is what came out. I think of her as being spiritual thus the halo. I had one heck of a time with her face. I couldn’t use my colored pencils for some reason (I’m learning here!) and so I pulled out the charcoal, no go, then the marker but that was too harsh so here came the charcoal again. Finally I got her to where I liked her. I will have her up on my Etsy shop soon! Think I should??

Soon I will be getting a cd on how to blend faces from Suzi Blu. I can’t wait till it comes out. In the mean time I’ll be relying on a new book on acrylics I ordered the other day, I’ll get it tomorrow, yeah!

This is just a background right now. I don’t know what I want to do with it yet. But I love it where it is now finally. I struggled with this as I experimented with different techniques with water bottles, paper towels, and plastic wrap in hand. I finally pulled my brayer out and it solved the problem and made it complete. I couldn’t even tell you how many layers I put on there!

Read All About It!

2008-04-24T09:09:00.006-05:00

I have been featured in Divine Comforts website! It’s a short article where I’ve been interviewed. I’ve mentioned this before. Well, now the article is out! Go take a look and learn a little more about me :)

I also wanted to thank all of you for your incredible support and faith in me. I don’t feel deserving but am so appreciative! You all have blown me away! Thank you!

Luv,
dinah

ps: don't forget to visit my Etsy shop he was talking about!

Midnight Creations ~ this is what i do when i can't sleep!

2008-04-21T12:21:00.004-05:00

I tried my hand again with the now “primitive flower II”. The first one for Illustration Friday had a blemish on the top left. I just made it on a whim, experimenting with the walnut ink I had just got using a journal page that wasn’t fully prepped. But I loved it so much I had to show it even though it was imperfect. I don’t like this as well, spontaneity has it’s virtues! Forcing, planning too much doesn’t seem to work for me.

Now here is a spontaneous piece, I sat thinking of trying another “primitive” but it turned into a fig, yes, that is supposed to be a fig! lol It is one of my favorite fruits! My grandmother had two fig trees when I was growing up. we would climb into it’s low twisted branches and just stuff ourselves with delicious figs! I call the painting “childhood sweetness” because that’s what it was, sweet tasting and a sweet a memory!

I have new art journal pages on my flikr if you want to take a look I would love for you too. And don’t forget to stop by my store at Esty!

Inspire Me Thursday ~ Scrap Yard

2008-04-18T15:07:00.002-05:00

I’ve wanted to make something out of all the scraps I have left over from other projects. Now I got the chance! This is my version of recycling my art scraps as well as showing a recycled home and world. Even the sun has been recycled!

I used paper, charcoal, acrylic, water color in this piece. I feel like I used more but no.

Because of the sun I couldn’t get the color right. There is more shading over the lawn than you can see here. I need a shaded spot out back. I’ll have to create one as there are no trees. I’m working on taking better pictures, give me some time to get it together. I’m trying :D Oh, and if you have some good advice I would love the help!

ps: take a look at my inspiration friday pic below!

Illistration Friday ~ Primitive Flower

2008-04-18T14:47:00.003-05:00

I spayed my prepped journal pages with the walnut ink I recently bought to see what would happen. Then later that day I came back to it and drew this, what I am calling ‘Primitive Flower’. When flowers where beginning to spring up they where very simple, hardly looking like a flower at all.

I used walnut ink, gel pen, permanent marker, water color, charcoal, and acrylic to make this very simple painting. I can hardly believe I used so many things! I hope you like it :)

Help! I've Been Tagged!

2008-04-16T11:07:00.002-05:00

Yeah! I’ve been tagged by Alyssa Elza for this ‘6 weird quirks/habits’ game. Thank you Alyssa for tagging me :D sorry it took so long to post this since I just found out about it today! Here are my strange facts!

1. I can’t function properly without my cup of coffee with hazelnut creamer every morning, even if I don’t wake till noon!
2. I can’t stand to ware shoes in my home so I take them off at the door. I just think about all the nasties I could have possibly picked up.
3. I nearly always feel like I have a fever.
4. I fight sleep most every night and end up working on some art to relax or read a book.
5. I can’t take a bath without sliding under and getting my hair wet no matter how clean I already am.
6. almost every time I sit, I sit on my left leg like my mother.

Hope I made you giggle ;)

I am tagging: Suzi Blu, Paulette Insall, Danita, Darlene, moonwillow, and Letha.

And here are the rules:
1. Link to the person that tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Creative Cruse

2008-04-13T17:29:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I spent a wonderful day painting with my son again. I think he is the key to my inspiration now that I think about it. I’ve finish most of my pieces when working along side him! I had a piece I had been working on for a couple of days I manage to finish with him.

Then a new experiment for me, a collage, a simple one but a collage just the same. They are both up on etsy now!

I was interviewed for a feature on Melissa's website. You can find her on etsy as divinecomforts. I am so excited. I feel like a real artist all the more. Should I not say that out loud? It was fun, I can’t wait to see his blog.

In excitement I rushed out today to have note cards made and grabbed a few art supplies. I was so lucky to find things I wanted, no needed for a third of the price I would pay online after you add the shipping! I went to a different craft store today. I can see I will have to meet my needs between the two.

dinah

My Shop is Open!

2008-04-10T19:32:00.008-05:00

Suzi Blu, what am I going to do with you?? Well, she light a fire under my @&# this morning! Inspired and scolded a bit I changed my day. Instead of staying home I ran out to kinko’s and had note cards made of a couple of my art journal pages. They turned out so beautiful! I am so excited!!

I went to three other stores to get things I needed for the cards and another project I’m working on! This one will be a surprise ;) I was inspired by Linda Woods & Karen Dinino’s book “Visual Chronicles”. They are the ones who gave me my great idea!

Please stop by my esty shop and take a gander at what I made. I would love to hear from y’all!

wow, just like that. In one day, my life changed. I’m an artist today, yesterday I was just playing with paint!

~ I'M NO LONGER SELLING ~

Creation Frenzy

2008-04-03T20:07:00.006-05:00

I’ve been creating like a mad woman today. Participating in two art thingies. First I made four letters for Milliande's “A-Z Art Journal Lettering Collaboration”! this morning. I was frenzied with creativity. Whoo hoo! Then I tried to do a digital collage for Inspire Me Thursday but nothing seemed to work. So I got out the painting that I was angry at. The one that made me stop creating all together! And I covered it with gesso! Now I have a painting I’m proud of! I know it could be a lot better, I have a lot to learn but it’s the best I can do at this point. It is the best I’ve done so far! It’s more like a journal page than a real painting but what the h*!!, art is suppose to be freeing and fun and that’s what I had! I’m even thinking of scanning it and putting it on etsy. Wonder if anyone would like it. maybe not but I’m at least getting better. Yep,this is better ;)

My son didn’t have base ball practice today so we were headed for an empty afternoon where I would be sure to hear, “m o m, I’m b o r e d!” all afternoon. So I had made my mind up that I would have him paint with me. he pulls up a chair to my antique school desk and we create. Never did he say he was bored!

He informed me that his painting was good enough to sell! :) any takers?? He knows I’m going to try to make a little through etsy, that’s my goal. So he decided he would pitch in and help bring in money for the family! Ain’t that sweet?

Inspire Me Thursday ~ Peace

2008-04-03T19:42:00.001-05:00

This is my first entry for Inspire Me Thursday! And it is the first painting that I’ve done I really like. I like it so much I’m thinking of having it scanned and putting it up on etsy! You never know, anything could happen! :D

I had so much fun as I painted this with my son by my side till I finished. I had only gesso white staring at me when we went up stairs to paint. It’s the one time he is not bored.

I feel that a big part of having peace is knowing how to listen that’s why I have that woman listening.

I used acrylic paints, sharpie, stamps, stencil, page from a book, magazine cut outs, and ink, oh and some gel litter stuff got smudged on it leaving a little glitter.

I've Got My Mojo Back!

2008-04-02T14:07:00.003-05:00

I don’t know what happened or how it happened but it happened! I got my mojo back! The ever inspiring art guru, Suziblu on youtube had us paint a flower in her art journal class. A flower, I can paint a flower. So I did. I filmed it the weekend before last and posted my humble piece youtube. It put me back into the game. I don’t know how but I was set free!

I also had received the most inspiring painting by Paulette Insall, ‘follow’ and all the goodies she sent with it have been an inspiration. I wish I could paint like her. Her backgrounds are amazing. She has classes for backgrounds, I hope to take it this fall.

Because of a mini flood in my living room where I have my computer I had to pull everything out of the desk amour and the book shelves and corners and so on. I ended up with a lot of junk that I just through out. I was left with a beautiful creative soulful place. Insall’s painting found a new home on top of my amour where it will be seen and safe from 9 year olds. I sit back and just stare at it. It makes me want to be a painter.

Paralyzed

2008-02-17T15:02:00.002-06:00

I thought that love would inspire my art but it has paralyzed it with the need of perfection, the fear of error. I started a painting with my new love in mind and I screwed it up. it paralyzed me, I couldn’t get past it. I got angry with it and refused to create. Strange isn’t it? I got caught up with dating and then getting sick with one thing after another so I ended up with out the strength to create anything so I gave up, didn’t even bother to draw. Am I the only one who ever feels this way? maybe I’m not an artist.

2008-01-17T15:08:00.001-06:00

I’ve done it! I did it! I’ve painted! I’ve painted an actual painting that wasn’t in my journal but on what is to me, expensive Montval Acrylic 185lb cold press paper! Ain’t it purdy! I know I have a LONG way to go and a GREAT deal to learn but it’s a start! I’m jumping in and taking risks. It felt good. Of course it all went wrong, especially with her skin but I learned a lot about what not to do! :D next time I should do much better, I hope :) I am hoping that one of my mentors will do a vid on how to shade because I really got hung up on that when it came to her face. I’m glad it’s over, it’s done!

Now I’m playing with the idea of putting it up for sale just to see what happens. Now stop laughing so bloody hard! I have to start somewhere. I thought it would be a good way to learn the process of selling before it becomes serious. I even called around to see how I could make prints of my paintings and find someone who could scan them. I settled on kinko’s. if I can buy myself a flash drive I can get the download for free and only pay the 99 cents to scan it instead of the $9.99 – 5.99 to burn it to cd. I caught hold of a printer, a man that runs a printing press. Well he was full of great advice that I plan to take. So when I called kinko’s back I knew better what I wanted and what I needed to ask. I feel better knowing my choices and how to take them :)

Passions Wane

2008-01-15T17:34:00.000-06:00

I’ve slowed down now that I have my girls face the way I want. I need to get the body right though. I was burning up with passion for art now I’ve slowed down. I guess one can only handle so much. I think I’ve just gotten bored with drawing and need to be challenged further. I need to go ahead and take that expensive artist paper and make a painting even if it sucks. I’ve stopped following my passion because I’m afraid of messing up. that’s it, that’s the problem. :)

for more pics of my 'studio' go to my flickr!