Here is my ‘I Am” assignment for suzi blu’s life book/art journal exercise. I just went wild and played with texture and color. I ended covering it all up with different shades of red and pink following Milliande’s journal prompt. Then I scraped white paint across it all and made my beautiful girl. I just get lost in her eyes. After creating this I hate the last journal page I made I showed you and all the other ones I didn’t show. This is just beautiful to me. I may hate it later too but for now I’m happy with it.
This was in the background of the first pic in my last post. I took coffee grounds to create the texture. I love it so much as is that I can’t bear to add anything to it!
I brought this down stairs along with everything else. It hides behind my couch across from my dinning table now my ‘art studio’. there is a door I stick up there so I don’t have to look at this mess. I don’t like the mess of this cupboard but the mess on my table makes me smile!
I’m doing much better lately. I am so loving netflix. I can watch movies, tv shows, documentaries, etc… online anytime I want free. I LOVE it! I think going without my pc did help me be more creative. I made all this and more while it was down. I just get on the net and play with all these social networks ning things and twitter and on and on. But I am so glad I have these distractions when I need them so I don’t cry so much but I need to let go and create more, do more, live more off the web.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
My Divine inspirations have helped push me over the edge from fear into the pool of creativity, my connection to Spirit and intuition. On the 10th I created my first journal page of the year in last years altered book - art journal while waiting for my new moleskin to arrive to journal along with suzi blu.
Here are some of the books that have been inspiring me. I bought the top three, the rest I got at the library. It is hard to find good art books anywhere! They are like gems hidden. You have to commit much time and effort if you want to acquire them that is unless you just do a search on amazon, that’s a lot easier!
In “Pretty Little Things” by Sally Jean Alexander she recommends putting different techniques on slips of paper and put them in a bowl and then pull from it until you don’t need the prompts anymore. It is a great way to push you forward when you don’t know where to begin! I upcycled scrap paper I crumbled and then soaked in tea and hung dry. Tearing each piece added to the effect and then I used my elaborate handwriting to write each prompt, charcoal, ink, magazine, text, water color, etc. . .
I appreciate everyone’s condolences. I’m was relieved that most did not try to give me a pep talk because I don’t need one. Just an ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ is all I need to hear. The thing about loss is that there is almost never the right thing to say. For me, less is more. I’ve been through this about 10 times or more. I know what to do. Even if I hadn’t I wouldn’t want to hear it anyways. That’s what therapists and mother’s are for. I just need to talk it out. It is such a huge part of who I am right now. It is apart of every motion of my life. I can’t express myself without my loss coming up. Thanks for listening, thanks for the kind words.
Friday, January 09, 2009
For weeks the desire has been growing and pulling me to create and yet I resist it. I don’t understand why I pull away from what makes me feel so good. I know that my art corner was a mess and I was afraid that if I started anything that I would destroy the rest of my bedroom. I didn’t know where to begin. This week after watching suzi blu on youtube I was pushed over the edge and decided that the mental block of trying to create in my messy tiny corner could easily be rectified.
So off I went, up and down the stairs for two days putting my ‘studio’ in the middle of the living room. We never use our dinning table so it’s perfect. It’s there in line with my desk where I spend most of my time on the computer! I took the center leaf and put it on top against the mirror behind my round table and put all my paint and brushes on it. Then I just pilled up things on the table brought down a little cupboard I have some other art supplies in and put the rest in storage tubs I’ll keep in my ‘harry potter’ closet under the stairs. It feels great! I don’t even mind the clutter of it because it is supposed to be that way, the landing strip of art and art is messy!
What a shift in my phsyce. Now if I can only get the courage to do something. I’ve drawn a little but I don’t feel right putting things in a journal I should have filled last year. I’ve bought a Moleskine Large Sketch Book to fallow suzi blu around with her free art journal class on youtube. I have tried to combine all my many journals like she talks about and it never seems to work. I have journals for everything, dreams, thoughts, wishes, art, but I tend to keep them apart. I would like to have everything in one place to chronicle my life and growth.
As you all know I am still in mourning over my brother. There have been two other deaths since him. Despite all this pain and loss I am ready to move forward with my life again. It’s like I held my breath and ceased to exist when he died. I didn’t want to live if he couldn’t. so I did nothing for myself, nothing that I loved. But now that has changed finally. I’m still crying, still mourning but I am ready to join the living and live again even though he can’t.
ps: suzi blu has lost her long time beloved cat, pooh. Something I’ve been through several times. It is hard to go through, I know it was for myself. Send her some lovin’. I’m so sorry for your loss suzi!